Wired to Care: how companies prosper when they create widespread empathy by Dev Patniak with Peter Mortensen

There are three kinds of reframes. One is to step out of your own perspective and see the world as it sees itself. Two is to see the world in a way that is completely different than anyone else. Three is to reframe the way you solve a problem, that is to approach it in a different manner. The best way to find a new way to see the world is to understand how other people see it. This can be disorienting as it’s so far removed from your own expectations. Like the other chapters, this one contains stories about how real companies accomplished the chapter’s main goal.

9. We Are Them and They Are Us

When people consciously reach outside of their perspective to connect with others, something profound starts to happen. The line between them and the outside world begins to blur. Reaching out can help make the rest of the world seem less strange and confusing. You should find that others are more like you than you thought. Blurring the lines between yourself and the rest of the world can be profound, but it usually doesn’t happen overnight. Think of it as more of a journey. When threatened, we feel safer when we isolate ourselves from others. To prosper, however, we need to do the opposite. People who have networks of close friends tend to lead longer lives.

10. The Golden Rule

Dev sees the golden rule as a simple and effective way to guide an organization. Beyond treating people they you would want to be treated, you should strive to know the people you are dealing with well enough so you know how they want to be treated. Different people have different needs and desires so the better you know someone, the better you can meet their specific needs. By following the golden rule daily, better treatment is also more likely to come your way so in a strange sense, being nice to others is essentially a self-serving act.

11. The Hidden Payoff

The final chapter starts with a story of how a hotel chain developed empathy by having managers and other employees spend time working with the housekeepers cleaning rooms. This not only allowed them to see how important the housekeepers were, it also helped the housekeepers see it as well. This reinforces the idea that life is more fulfilling if you can see the impact of your work and be part of something much larger than yourself. (Doug: This can be difficult for teachers who can’t immediately see the impact of their efforts.) The big picture here is that empathy can transform jobs into careers and careers into callings.
Next we have the story of Mohandas Gandhi and how he wasn’t able to be the kind of leader for India that he finally became until he spent time with ordinary Indian people. Prior to that he spent most of his time with Indian elites who for the most part were just like their British rulers. In the end, Gandhi changed the world by living like the poorest of his countrymen.
The final story tells how Clorox turned it’s culture around when management realized that they had to transform the image of mom from janitor to hero. By working to care for moms who care for their families, the Clorox culture was infused with a big dose of empathy. Dev finds that in every case, a firsthand exposure to real people reveals opportunities as it provides a humbling call to service. Empathy has the power to help us see how to change things for the better. Scaling that power to the level of an organization can transform its mission. When we develop real empathy, our jobs start to become callings. (Doug: For principals, the message is to get out of the office and spend time with all of the people in your building. When parents come in for any reasons, spend time with them and be sure to listen. Teachers can do the same thing in their own way. The good ones show great respect for support staff and treat all children and parents respectfully, even if they don’t always deserve it. Be sure to share this book with leaders you know.)