Author Archive

Plays Well With Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong by Eric Barker

Wednesday, March 15th, 2023

Plays Well
Plays Well With Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships I (Mostly) Wrong by Eric Barker explains how having strong, multiple, caring relationships is just as important as diet, exercise, and not smoking when it comes to being healthy, happy, and living longer. There are also lots of great tips for people who want to have marriages that last. School counselors can use it to create important staff development sessions. Be sure to get a copy.

Introduction

  • We start with a simulated hostage negotiation that demonstrates some of the concepts associated with active listening. This book is about what we get wrong with relationships and how we can be a bit more right. Using the best evidence available we will see that the fundamental core of relationships is the stories our brains weave to create identity, agency, and community. Also, our problems with others often start with our inaccurate perception of them.
  • Part 1: Can You “Judge a Book by Its Cover”?

  • 1. Here is the story of a female detective known as Ms. Sherlock Holmes from 1917, a time before women could go to Harvard Law School or vote. It shows that common sense and persistence are more powerful than deduction. Eric provides evidence that shows how profiling is of little or no use. The Barnum Effect describes humans’ willingness to accept descriptions of themselves based on a diagnostic instrument. In other words, we are prone to seeing meaning where there is none. We make up stories to help us make sense of the world, even if the stories are not true. The primary thing we need to contend with, therefore, is our own cognitive biases.
  • 2. Those who possess accurate person perception are happier, less shy, and better with people. They have better interpretations of body language and nonverbal communication. Unfortunately, most of us are horrible at these skills. We tend to exaggerate the extent to which others think and feel like we do. Women are better at this, but not much. If you want to get better you need to be more curious and do what you can to elicit stronger signals that make others more readable. Pay special attention to changes in voice.
  • 3. First impressions are generally accurate, but once they are set they are very hard to change. You can usually predict how students evaluate a teacher by watching a thirty-second video of a teacher. We are biased in our thinking and use confirmation bias to support other biases. Try to make others more readable and try to resist confirmation bias lock-in.
  • Here is what to do. 1. Set the bar high for making initial judgments. 2. Keep some distance and avoid snap judgments. 3. Make a serious effort to consider the opposite of your first impression. Look back on your mistakes and hope they reveal your biases. Be sure to give everyone a second chance. Good people can have lousy days. Your negative judgments are less reliable than your positive judgments.
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    Tips for Helping Students Build Self-esteem by Amanda Winstead

    Saturday, February 11th, 2023

    Self Esteem
    Tips for Helping Students Build Self-esteem by Amanda Winstead should convince teachers that they need to intentionally focus on this trait and explains how to do so. This should help all teachers and parents do a better job of preparing children for success in the real world. Thanks, Amanda.

    Your students need a range of personal, practical, and academic skills to thrive. As a teacher or parent, your approach to a student’s learning can be instrumental in aiding their development. One area that requires some specific focus is students’ self-esteem.

    A healthy sense of self-worth has a range of benefits in students’ lives. It’s important to recognize that, in learning spaces, it is not just academic success that contributes to the development of this trait. The environment, feedback, and relationships they experience all feed into how effectively students’ self-esteem flourishes.

    Let’s review a few components of helping students to build self-esteem in a healthy and impactful way.

    Recognize the Benefits

    Self-esteem is often an undervalued focus for development in schools and home learning environments. This usually isn’t because it is necessarily considered a negative personality component. Rather, it tends to get pushed to the wayside in favor of other educational, administrative, or practical priorities. Nevertheless, by gaining an understanding of why building self-esteem in students is important, you may be more mindful of how your approach to curriculum and relationships can support it.

    Primarily, a strong sense of self-esteem encourages students to engage more readily with the world around them and the people that populate it. Indeed, psychological studies show that there are clear links between self-esteem and the ability to engage in meaningful social relationships and interactions. This means that students gain vital skills needed to get the most out of the classroom and their lives beyond.

    Self-esteem also tends to make for happier students. This does more than just help them to be more confident. The simple act of smiling has an impact on both physical and psychological health. It lowers stress levels, has a strengthening effect on the immune system, and can even bolster productivity. Therefore, building self-esteem contributes to the holistic wellness that empowers students to thrive.

    Create a Safe Space

    One of the most important ways to help build students’ self-esteem is to make the classroom a safe space for them to engage. The wider world is often a soup of hyper-criticism, ridicule, and stress. If these are present in the learning environment, they may prevent students from taking the necessary risks that spur their growth. A protective and nurturing learning space can help them to step out from self-imposed restrictions to gain a positive sense of themselves and their abilities.

    Make it clear from the outset that mistakes in the classroom are encouraged. Everyone in this space is there to learn, and people often learn best from errors. It’s also wise to frame the willingness to make mistakes as courageous. After all, these students are stepping out of their comfort zones to explore even though they may be uncertain. It’s important push the idea that such expeditions are something you undertake as a class. They learn from one another’s mistakes and provide mutual support in finding solutions.

    Use Encouragement

    Use Encouragement

    Relentless criticism doesn’t tend to have a positive impact on self-esteem. This doesn’t mean that students shouldn’t be accountable for their actions or pulled up on areas for improvement. These elements are necessary components of growth, after all. Nevertheless, it’s important to ensure that your teaching approach includes consistent application of encouragement and praise.

    This isn’t the same as simply issuing general or vague forms of commendation. Students are usually savvy enough to pick up on how empty or insincere such praise feels. The result is that it doesn’t positively impact their self-esteem at all.

    Instead, it’s important to be specific about why you’re praising them. Pinpoint what it was about their actions that resulted in effective outcomes for their assignments, activities, or their relationships with their peers. Talk about what aspects of their character or personality contributes to their success. Indeed, it can be wise to ask your students for their own opinions on what they’re being praised for. This helps them to be able to recognize which of their characteristics have a positive impact. This not only contributes to the growth of their self-esteem but also encourages the repeated application of these traits in the future.

    Provide Coping Mechanisms

    Students shouldn’t feel as though they’re going through their educational experience without any challenges. Neither should they be entirely shielded from the stresses and pressures of the world, particularly as they get older. However, it is important to the development of their self-esteem to ensure they have the psychological and practical tools to cope with adversity in their lives.

    One effective approach to this is encouraging them to build a strong set of self-care habits that bolsters their mental and physical health. These should be accessible activities, such as getting regular outdoor exercise and maintaining a nutritionally balanced diet. Having hobbies can also ensure they have a focus for their energies during difficult times. This is most effective when you don’t just suggest activities but provide them with reasons why these will help your students. Understanding how actions directly result in coping better encourages habit formation that enables mechanisms to be an impactful part of their lives.

    It’s also important to teach students that communicating their struggles rather than internalizing them is an effective coping mechanism. Run exercises on how to vocalize concerns. Introduce them to the best venues to share feelings and worries, from their close friends to school counselors. Knowing that these resources are available to them can help themdevelop their emotional intelligence and empower them to feel more in control and capable.

    Conclusion

    Self-esteem impacts students’ lives in a variety of ways, from giving them the confidence to engage meaningfully with the world to bolster their wellness. It’s important to support their development of this trait by creating a safe classroom environment, providing specific forms of praise, and helping them identify coping mechanisms. When you make the classroom a positive influence on students’ self-worth, you are giving them tools to thrive.

    Amanda Winstead

    Amanda is a freelance writer out of Portland, focusing on many topics, including educational technology. Along with writing, she enjoys traveling, reading, working out, and going to concerts. If you want to follow her writing journey or even just say hi, you can find her on Twitter.

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    How to Help Students Develop Emotional Intelligence by Amanda Winstead

    Thursday, January 19th, 2023

    Emotional Intelligence
    Image Source: Pixabay
    How to Help Students Develop Emotional Intelligence by Amanda Winstead< promotes the idea that all teachers can help students become more emotionally intelligent (EI) and teach their specific content at the same time. Since EI may not be taught at home, it’s vital that all school personal look for opportunities to help students with this vital skill.

    Students can learn a lot in an educational setting. For example, they can develop technical skills like math or computer literacy and learn about language, writing, world history, and health. But what might be more important is the learning that takes place without of books.

    Students can learn about themselves and grow personally in the classroom too. There are so many opportunities to develop emotional intelligence (EI), in particular. Something so critical in having healthy relationships and a thriving future. Before we get into the importance of developing EI in the classroom and tips for helping your students do so, let’s define EI properly.

    What Is Emotional Intelligence?

    Very Well Mind defines emotional intelligence as “the ability to perceive, interpret, demonstrate, control, evaluate, and use emotions to communicate with and relate to others effectively and constructively.”

    You could add to this definition by being aware, in control of, and able to communicate your emotions. Some examples of what an emotionally intelligent person does are:

    Actively listens
    Offers forgiveness
    Practices self-control
    Shows empathy to others
    Showers themself with love
    Takes ownership of their mistakes
    Understands their strengths and weaknesses

    Why Is It Critical to Develop EI in the Classroom?

    Helping students develop EI in the classroom is critical because they spend a lot of time at school. And there are so many situations that arise in the classroom that are great opportunities for a lesson in EI. You can help them take advantage of each one.

    Unfortunately, many students don’t have someone teaching them about EI at home. Their teachers, coaches, counselors, and other support persons outside the house may be the only people they can look to for that. Having education personnel on board to guide students through EI is crucial.

    EI
    Image Source: Pixabay

    Strategies for Developing EI in the Classroom

    EI can help students evolve and live productive lives now and in adulthood. The more people in their life that can teach them about their emotions, how to accept and process them, and do the same with others, the better. The following strategies will help you assist your students in better processing their emotions and developing EI.

    Practice patience and empathy at all times. When you’re trying to teach students EI, the last thing you want to do is show them that you aren’t. Stay cool and positive at all times. More importantly, practice patience and empathy.

    Patience and empathy are critical when working with kids. Unfortunately, they will sometimes do the most frustrating, confusing, and inappropriate things, especially if they don’t know how to process and communicate their emotions.

    Getting frustrated quickly, yelling at them, and punishing them will only push them away. And you’ll never have a chance to get through to them then. Instead, stay calm and have a conversation with them. See things from their point of view and be patient enough to let the conversation unfold without force.

    Actively listen

    Aside from patience and empathy, actively listening to your students is crucial, too. To perceive, interpret, demonstrate, control, evaluate, and use emotions to communicate with and relate to others, as Very Well Mind’s definition suggests, you must actively listen.

    So, show your students how to do this by demonstrating it in every interaction. When they’re talking to you, listen without distraction and ask thoughtful follow-up questions for clarity. Leave your students feeling heard, and they’ll be on track to do it for others.

    Help students work through their emotions

    There are so many opportunities to teach EI at school that you won’t be able to be there for everyone. However, if you’re with a student and a situation arises that provokes emotion, do your best to help them navigate their feelings while they’re happening.

    For example, let’s say a student gets into a verbal argument with another student. They’re visibly angry, and you know it’s an excellent time to teach them how to acknowledge their anger, process it, and move forward.

    First, take the student to a quiet space or another room to help them recenter themself. When they’re a bit calmer, ask them to identify their emotions. Flesh out what they’re feeling and what prompted those feelings at the most comfortable pace for the student. Make sure you also let them know it’s okay to feel anger.

    Then, offer coping mechanisms like breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, or journaling. You could even do “anger” worksheets with them to further the lesson on what anger is and how to best move through it.

    It’s all about catching intense emotional experiences live and helping students through as many as possible.

    Help students develop a better relationship with themselves. True EI requires self-awareness and self-management. You must understand your emotions, what triggers them, and the best way to cope with them based on who you are. Your students have to do the same. Help them develop self-awareness and self-management by encouraging them to have a better relationship with themself. You can do this by:

    Encouraging confidence
    Promoting individualism
    Taking your students on field trips
    Asking for their help on projects made for their skillset
    Helping them work on their physical and mental health
    Motivating them to join a sport or extracurricular activity
    Opening the lines of communication so they can talk with you when they need to

    All students can benefit from developing EI. Doing so will give them a chance for a flourishing future, healthy relationships, and unwavering love for themself. Do your part in helping them grow EI by implementing the strategies above.

    Amanda Winstead

    Amanda is a freelance writer out of Portland, focusing on many topics, including educational technology. Along with writing, she enjoys traveling, reading, working out, and going to concerts. If you want to follow her writing journey or even just say hi, you can find her on Twitter.

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    Graduate Engineer Options / True Car Costs / The Physics of Scuba Diving

    Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

    Free Resources for Busy Parents and Educators Who Don’t Have as Much Time to Read and Surf as I Do with Fresh Content almost Every Weekday

    The Twitter names next to each link belong to the authors, publications, and the people who bring them to my attention.

    Options
    Six Careers for engineering graduates (other than ‘engineer’!) – The logical thinking, practical approach, and analytical skills gained during an engineering degree lend themselves to a wide range of careers in all sorts of industries. @INTOStudy

    Owning a Car
    The True Costs of Owning a Car – A Lesson Plan for High School Students – This is a great real-world problem that all kids should try before they think about buying a car. @EconEdLink @rmbyrne

    Scuba Science
    The Physics of Scuba Diving – Here is a deep dive into the science of staying alive underwater. Time for some real-world physics. @rjallain @WIRED

    SM

    Social Media/Artificial Intelligence

    Elon Musk Outlines Roadmap for ‘Twitter 2.0’ in New Slide Deck. Elon Musk has provided some more insight into his evolving plan for Twitter, which will now also see the company embark on a hiring push after firing 65% of its workforce in order to get in more development and engineering talent to help realize Musk’s grand vision. @adhutchinson @socialmedia2day

    Learning

    A 10-Minute Recap Of Elon Musk’s Neuralink Event – This short video summaries several areas of brain research. @elonmusk @CNET

    Coaching

    Leadership/Parenting

    Six key elements to build a successful coaching program – When coaching is done right, it works to help support teachers and students, and build stronger districts. @jderoner @TeachBoost @eschoolnews

    Inspirational/Funny Tweets

    Self Talk

    @BillMoore20

    Humor, Music, Cool Stuff

    Rome Italy travel guide – Tips for first-time visitors – I’ve been there twice, most recently in September of 2022 and I find this ten-minute video to contain great advice. I’ve traveled a lot, but I find Rome the best. @BeautyfromItaly @ItalyGuidesit

    Jooble

    Recent Book Summaries & My Podcasts

    Kids Who Aren'T Assholes

    How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting from Tots to Teens by Melinda Wenner Moyer

    Critical Issues in Democratic Schooling: Curriculum, Teaching, and Socio-Political Realities by Kenneth Teitelbaum

    Can You Learn to Be Lucky? Why Some People Seem to Win More Often Than Others by Karla Staff

    My Post-Pandemic Teaching and Learning Observations by Dr. Doug Green Times 10 Publications

    The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward by Daniel Pink

    Limitless Mind: Learn, Lead, and Live Without Barriers by Jo Boaler

    180 Moving Forward past the Pandemic with Dr. Doug Green – On October 4, 2021, I was Kim Mattina’s guest on her weekly show. Please join us for a discussion on what we can gain from our pandemic experiences as educators.

    The Future of Smart: How Our Education System Needs to Change to Help All Young People Thrive by Ulcca Joshi Hansen

    Noise: A Flaw In Human Judgement by Daniel Kahneman, Oliver Sibony, & Cass Sunstein

    Cup of Joe
    Listen to Dr. Doug on the “Cup of Joe” podcast. I recorded it last week. On it, I talk about the many good things I have seen in schools doing hybrid teaching. @PodcastCupOfJoe @DrDougGreen @BrainAwakes

    Back to School COVID Myths – by Dr Doug Green @mssackstein

    This is my podcast on the Jabbedu Network. Please consider listening and buying my book Teaching Isn’t Rocket Science, It’s Way More Complex. Here’s a free executive summary. @jabbedu @DrDougGreen

    Boys and Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity by Peggy Orenstein

    Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves (the book can be found here.

    Be sure to try the bottom right translate button for your favorite language or one you are trying to learn. If you don’t see it, check your adblocking software.

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    How the Internet Works / Age of AI Priorities / Trash Competition

    Thursday, January 12th, 2023

    Free Resources for Busy Parents and Educators Who Don’t Have as Much Time to Read and Surf as I Do with Fresh Content Every Weekday and post around 8:00 am Eastern US time.

    The Twitter names next to each link belong to the authors, publications, and the people who bring them to my attention.
    Be sure to try the bottom right translate button for your favorite language or one you are trying to learn. If you don’t see it, check your adblocking software


    How does the INTERNET work? This is good for middle school on up. @sabinsmathew

    AI
    What Educators and Families Should Prioritize in the Age of AI – Being a learner for life is not about filling a pail but lighting a fire. Eric Tucker via @Getting_Smart


    Spogomi: The trash friendly sport. I know New York City should do this. How about your town? @SpogomiWorldCup

    iPhone Hacks

    Social Media/Artificial Intelligence

    Every iPhone user should know these hacks. As much time as Americans spend staring at our devices we should at least know how to use all its features. @brookenkato @nypost

    Learning

    How Archimedes Almost Broke Math with Circles – Archimedes proved the area formula for a circle by dividing the shape into infinitesimally small pieces. @BenSyversen

    Warm

    Leadership/Parenting

    Four Practices of Warm Demander Teachers – A well-known approach that combines high expectations with a firm belief in students’ ability to succeed can guide them to deeper learning. Jessica Huang via @edutopia

    Inspirational/Funny Tweets

    No@Gapingvoid

    Humor, Music, Cool Stuff

    “Sweet Dreams” Hurdy Gurdy Cover – Patty Gurdy
    This instrument is called “hurdy gurdy” and has its roots in the medieval times. It works like a mechanical violin with a wheel bow, that can play bass, melody and rhythm all at once. @Patty_Gurdy
      

    Jooble

    Recent Book Summaries & My Podcasts


    Influence
    Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini@RobertCialdini

    Valedictorians at the Gate: Standing Out, Getting In, and Staying Sane While Applying to College by Becky Munsterer Sabky

    Plays Well With Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrongby Eric Barker

    How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting from Tots to Teens by Melinda Wenner Moyer

    My Post-Pandemic Teaching and Learning Observations by Dr. Doug Green Times 10 Publications

    The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward by Daniel Pink

    Limitless Mind: Learn, Lead, and Live Without Barriers by Jo Boaler 

    The Future of Smart: How Our Education System Needs to Change to Help All Young People Thrive by Ulcca Joshi Hansen

    Cup of Joe
    Listen to Dr. Doug on the “Cup of Joe” podcast. I recorded it last week. On it, I talk about the many good things I have seen in schools doing hybrid teaching. @PodcastCupOfJoe @DrDougGreen @BrainAwakes

    Back to School COVID Myths – by Dr Doug Green @mssackstein

    This is my podcast on the Jabbedu Network. Please consider listening and buying my book Teaching Isn’t Rocket Science, It’s Way More Complex. Here’s a free executive summary. @jabbedu @DrDougGreen

    Boys and Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity by Peggy Orenstein

    Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves (the book can be found here.

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