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Dr. Doug Green’s Advice to Prospective Parents

Twitter: @DrDougGreen

Introduction

• I was recently invited to a baby shower for my massage therapist. In addition to a card and some money, I included the following advice. It was very well received and appreciated so I thought I would share it with the readers of this blog who can pass it along to any expectant parents and parents of young children they know.

Congratulations

• Congratulations on almost being parents. While I’ve only raised one child my wife and I must have done something right given her success in the New York City art scene. I think the big idea is to always encourage, and never discourage.

Don’t Stifle Artistic Interests

• When my daughter told us she wanted to “make cartoons” when she was five it would have been easy to pooh pooh the idea and not support it as neither of us were artistic and we both had other ideas about our child’s career options. Our vision, however, was to do just the opposite.
• We made sure that she always had lots of art supplies, took her to every museum possible, paid for some private art lessons, and sent her to a summer program at the Ringling School of Art and Design prior to her senior year in high school.
• We then helped her with her application to Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY and dug deep to pay for it. After graduating with high honors she has been working nonstop since 2006 in a field she loves.
• Like most non-starving artists she is working for a company and doing what the boss wants. (The Tampon Hall Show on ABC) While she likes her work, it isn’t exactly the work she would do if left to her own passion. This is what she does in her free time, which seems to be typical in the art community.

What Else Did We Do?

• Here are some other things we did. There was no TV in her bedroom. If she wanted to watch TV at least one of us was nearby. We made sure that she engaged in exercise including dance lessons.
• When we went somewhere she almost always went with us and we never took a vacation without her. We engaged her in lots of conversations and asked a lot of questions. I read to her every night at bedtime until she could read just about anything herself.
• We had high expectations of her performance in school and helped with homework when she asked for help. When necessary, we intervened with her teachers.
• In one case when she earned a bad grade (35%) on her first algebra test we meet with the teacher who suggested that she drop out of advanced math. We politely told the teacher that was not a option and that we would help with her homework.
• Nearly every day before dinner I sat with her and helped with her homework. I realize that many parents might not be able to do this, but do what you can and find help somewhere. At the end the year we were rewarded with a 100% on the New York State algebra regents.

You Are Not too Young to Spill Paint or Break Eggs

• I let her paint the basement floor when she was three. This made sense as there was no downside to spilling the paint. I let her crack eggs in the kitchen when she was five. It’s hard to miss when the goal is to break an egg and any five-year-old can fish pieces of shell out of cookie dough.
• I let her mow our lawn with our gas-powered lawn mower when she was nine. It automatically shut off if you took your hands off of the handle so it seemed safe. Unfortunately for me, this chore only seemed like fun a few times so it wasn’t long before I had that job back.
• She painted all of our woodwork when she was twelve. By then she could paint a strait line as least as well as I could so I just got out of the way. Unlike the lawn mower she stuck with this chore.
• Prior to leaving for college she executed her own redesign of one of our bathrooms. This involved designing and making templates for patterns that were applied around the ceiling and on the walls. She also got a job painting her own designs on local clothing donation bins.

You Don’t Learn Much Doing Unskilled Labor

• We did not even mention the idea of getting an unskilled part-time job and she never mentioned it as it would take time away from her artistic endeavors.
• As a result of the skills she had honed with our support, she earned a total of $36,000 in merit-based scholarship money from Pratt. This was far more than any unskilled part-time job would have brought in.

Know Their Friends

• We always knew who her friends were and got to know the friend’s parents. When she was invited to parties in high school I always took her and went inside to say high to the parents. If I didn’t like the atmosphere we both left.
• In short, she was more of a friend than a child, but she knew who her parents were and that we were in charge.
• I believe you will be great parents and I’m so glad that people like you are having children. Please consider using this money to start a savings account for your baby. Someone did that for my parents when I was born and it had a lot to do with making me a saver. Not having to worry about money is a real blessing.

Good luck and God bless: Dr. Doug Green.

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Creating Lasting Confidence by Emily Graham offers the kind of advice we all need to live a successful and happy life. This article is also loaded with links to lots more free advice and additional detail.

Introduction

• Throughout the past two years, many people have found themselves becoming increasingly isolated and unsure of themselves due to changing conditions in the world amid the global pandemic. As the world begins to return to normal, you may feel insecure about returning to your social life due to the year-long hiatus from school, your workplace, and just about every other venue. Luckily, many lifestyle changes and habits can help build your confidence and ensure you’re ready to return to the world as your best self.
• Taking care of your body and mind goes a long way toward promoting confidence in all aspects of life. Dr. Doug Green’s blog shares a few ways to help you stay healthy and confident.

Start a Fitness Routine

• Countless studies illustrate the positive correlation between exercise and confidence. You don’t have to become a professional athlete to gain these benefits, however. Here are some examples of ways you can get started with fitness, no matter your current level.
• Try Jazzercise. This is a fun way to get exercise, and it’s a great start if you’re a beginner or you want to exercise with others.
• Join a gym. A wide variety of gyms offer different services and equipment. You can compare gyms in the area through ranked lists.
• Take yoga classes. Yoga offers a range of physical as well as mental benefits, making it a great all-around confidence booster.

Practice Mindfulness

• Incorporating a mindfulness meditation practice into your life can help you remove negative thoughts that contribute to low self-esteem. It also helps to practice in a space free of negative energy. Mindfulness meditation encourages you to see what’s right in front of you instead of worrying about past or future events that are out of your control. This practice can be done in many ways, each of which can help you to become more confident in yourself.

Practice Socializing at Work

• Many people feel they’ve lost their confidence at work due to changing work conditions. The Pew Research Center has found that during the last half of 2020, an estimated 71% of Americans were working from home—a 50% increase from before the pandemic began.
• One way you can take advantage of this situation to help you build confidence is to practice socializing and getting along with your coworkers and teammates. Taking a chance and talking to someone new or finding common ground with a coworker you’ve previously had conflicts with can go a long way toward improving your own self-confidence. Try using techniques such as cooperative communication or avoiding generalizing to get along with all your coworkers.

Start Your Own Business

• One of the most confidence-inspiring things you can accomplish is planning and starting your own business. There are a host of steps to take to get a business off the ground, but one thing you should definitely consider is a cloud-based invoicing solution when the time comes. You’ll be able to provide your clients with digital, customizable invoices which will make everyone’s life easier.

Confidence That Lasts

• With just a few small lifestyle changes and practices, you can discover your best qualities and gain lasting confidence. No matter where you are in your life, there’s always something new you can discover about yourself that you can take pride in.

Emily Graham

• Emily is the creator of MightyMoms.Net. She believes being a mom is one of the hardest jobs around and wanted to create a support system for moms from all walks of life. On her site, she offers a wide range of info tailored for busy moms — from how to reduce stress to creative ways to spend time together as a family. You can email her at emilygraham@mightymoms.net. She lives in Arizona.

Dr. Doug Green

• Dr. Doug Green provides byte-sized professional development for administrators, teachers, and parents. For more information, please visit his website or contact him today at Doug@DrDougGreen.com.

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Harnessing the Fidget by Amanda Winstead explains how to deal with kids who can’t sit still. If you want a fidgety child or adult to be more productive this article will help.

Introduction

• Fidgeting is often associated with a lack of attention or disinterest for both kids and adults. However, it’s not without its benefits. Whether your children are clicking pens or playing with actual fidget toys, fidgeting can actually contribute to enhanced focus and increased information retention — and not just during their youth. Learning how to make the most of fidgeting can help students achieve long-term success, even after they graduate from school and enter the workforce.
• Harnessing the fidget can require different methods from student to student. However, when you identify one individual’s needs, you can help them turn their fidgets into a tool, rather than a distraction. Let’s explore how fidgeting can present itself in toddlers and kids, why it helps with focus, and how you can productively nurture fidgets.

How Fidgeting is Identified in Young Kids

• Fidgeting doesn’t always look the same from student to student. In fact, several fidgeting styles are commonly seen in young children. For example, while some students prefer to keep their hands or mouths preoccupied, others fidget by moving their entire bodies.
• No fidgeting style is inherently bad, but students often won’t know how to use their fidgets positively without the guidance of adults. But with the help of educators and parents, children can successfully get the stimulation they need without distracting their peers or losing focus themselves. For example, while kids with busybodies may constantly shift their weight in a chair without guidance, teachers who offer wobble chairs or resistance bands can help them achieve movement in a non-disruptive way.
• Identifying each child’s fidgeting style can help you transfer their movement to a better outlet, so every student can achieve equal focus in class.

Why Fidgeting Helps Students Stay Focused

• So what is it about fidgeting that makes it helpful for focus? Physical activity naturally boosts your body’s levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, which are two neurotransmitters that boost your focus and attention span. Since mindless fidgets — such as drumming fingers, squeezing stress balls, or walking while studying — don’t require any thought, they can offer these attention-boosting benefits while allowing students to zoom in on their primary task.
• Fidgeting is especially helpful for kids with ADHD, who often need an outlet to release their high levels of energy. It can also help students with autism receive much-needed stimulation and cope with sensory overload. Students with anxiety may also be able to ease their nerves.
• Suppressing movement, on the other hand, can make it difficult for some kids to turn on their brains and process the information they’re receiving from their teachers, books, or videos. Without fidgets, students may be overwhelmed by an entire room full of distractions.

Fidgeting Continues in the Workplace

• Fidgeting isn’t just something that happens at school. When students graduate and start their careers, their fidgeting doesn’t go away. For many adults, fidgets promote engagement at work and enhance creativity. When workers give their natural movements an outlet, they can improve their performance at work and contribute more to their teams.
• However, no company wants a nuisance in their office or on their video calls. Helping people nurture their fidgets in a way that’s not noisy or noticeable — perhaps by wiggling their toes instead of shaking their legs — can give them transferable skills for a professional workplace.

How to Nurture Fidgets at Home in a Productive Way

• While parents are often accustomed to asking fidgeting kids to stay still, children can benefit more when their parents allow them to express their fidgets in positive, productive ways at home — not just in the classroom. Dedicated at-home learning spaces that are conducive to fidgets are critical in our modern world, in which digitized education reduces physical stimulation, especially for kids with ADHD.
• On top of offering different ways to fidget from their workspace, parents can offer sensory play activities that stimulate the senses to continue their brain development after school. For example, Play-Doh and busy boards with knobs and dials can be incredibly stimulating, while encouraging kids to explore the world in a way that’s conducive to their learning and fidgeting style.

Embracing Fidgets Can Lead to Brighter Futures

• While fidgets are often viewed in a negative light, they can actually aid students and adults in their educational journeys. Parents and teachers must increasingly support fidgets with the right outlets, rather than preventing them altogether. By giving students the right outlets, you can enhance their focus, memory, and even their creativity in the long run.
• Personalize your support by identifying how your child fidgets, then provide non-distracting mediums for them to express themselves through movement. When students understand how to harness their fidgets, they can succeed in any learning or working environment without distracting their peers. This can be a huge win for any teacher or parent.

Amanda Winstead

• Amanda is a freelance writer out of Portland focusing on many topics including educational technology. Along with writing she enjoys traveling, reading, working out, and going to concerts. If you want to follow her writing journey, or even just say hi you can find her on Twitter.

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