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Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t by Simon Sinek tells stories about leaders who found success mainly by putting people first. Seeking short term gains and seeking to serve one’s own selfish interests is short-sighted and sure to fail over time. This book will help leaders in all fields be the type of leader they wish they had. This would be a great textbook for any leadership course. Be sure to get a copy for leaders you know.

Forward by George J. Flynn Lieutenant General, U.S. Marine Corps (Ret.)

• An organization’s success or failure is based on leadership excellence and not managerial acumen. These organizations have strong cultures and shared values and understand the importance of teamwork and trust. They understanding the importance of people and relationships. The true price of leadership is the willingness to place the needs of others above your own. You must know your people and realize that they are much more than an expendable resource. Good leaders truly care. Leaders who take care of their people can never fail.

Part 1 – Our Need to Feel Safe

• 1. Protection from Above: We start with a story about a pilot risking his life to save 22 men in Afghanistan. He said he was just doing his job and that empathy for others is the single greatest asset he had to do his job. “They would have done it for me.” Empathy helps you share your glory and help those with whom you work to succeed. This strong foundation leads to success that no amount of money, fame, or awards can buy. Exceptional organizations have cultures in which leaders provide cover from above and the people on the ground look out for each other thanks to empathy.
• 2.Employees Are People Too: By getting rid of time clocks, bells that signaled breaks and lunch, locks on boxes of spare parts, and replacing free anytime phones with asking for permission payphones one leader used trust to turn his company around. People offered to donate vacation days to an employee with family problems. The workers also took better care of the machines. This happens when leaders listen and avoid coercion. They treat workers like family and realize that everyone is someone’s son or daughter.
• 3. Belonging: The authors use the metaphor of The Circle of Safety. It’s like four oxen standing so that no matter which direction the lion comes from it will always be met be horns. After thirteen weeks of boot camp, Marines know that they can trust every other Marine to protect them. It’s important that everyone in an organization feel that way about every other member so that everyone feels as safe as possible. This will result in better collaboration and problem-solving.
• 4. Yeah, but…: Stress can have negative effects on one’s health so it’s important to avoid it as much as possible. The more control a person has the less likely they are to be stressed. Top leaders, therefore, do what they can to give workers control and to acknowledge their efforts. We also know that coming home angry from a job you hate will have a negative impact on your children. You may be better off with no job rather than one you hate.

Part 2 – Powerful forces

• 5. When Enough Was Enough: In order to survive, humans have had to rely on cooperation and mutual aid rather than competition. If we don’t look out for our group, our group won’t look out for us. Conversely, if we don’t take care of ourselves first, we won’t be of much use to others.
• 6. E.D.S.O: Four brain chemicals help us survive. Endorphins are the brain’s pain relievers. They give us a remarkable capacity for physical endurance. Dopamine causes a feeling of satisfaction when we accomplish something. It makes us a goal-oriented species. Together these two chemicals help us get things done. Serotonin gives us the feeling of pride we get when we perceive that others like or respect us. As social animals we need approval. This causes us to give of our selves. Oxytocin is the feeling of friendship, love, or deep trust. Without it, there would be no empathy. You get it when to do something nice for someone. Such behaviors make us happy and help us live longer.
• 7. The Big C: When something goes wrong or you don’t feel safe your body releases cortisol. It’s the chemical that causes feelings of anxiety, discomfort, or stress. It’s like an early warning system. If you work with a group where members don’t care much about one another’s fate cortisol starts to seep through your veins. It inhibits the release of oxytocin, the empathy chemical. One can adapt to regular doses of cortisol, but it isn’t good for one’s health. Here is a story of a company that adopted a no-fire policy. As a result, people communicated more openly and pointed out problems more quickly. Turnover shrank and people felt safe.

Part 3 – Reality

• 9. The Courage to Do the Right Thing: Here we have a story of an aircraft controller who broke the rules and saved many lives. The point is that you have to know when to break rules and that you need rules to keep things running well. Also, relationships aren’t really based on rules.
• 10. Snowmobile in the Desert: Snowmobiles don’t run so well in the desert. Sometimes amazing humans are like snowmobiles in the desert. Sometimes the harder we try to do things right the worse we feel. We need to get the environment right at work and at home and learn how to work together as nothing great was ever accomplished by a single person.

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You Are Awesome: 9 Secrets to Getting Stronger and Living an Intentional Life by Neil Pasricha offers excellent advice that we can all use to have a more fulfilled and productive life. The advice here is appropriate for people in business, educators, and students alike. In short, everyone. Be sure to get some copies for your professional development library and get one for yourself.

Introduction: You Need to be More Resilient

• It starts with a very cool fable that demonstrates the notion of resilience. The key is to not let defeats define who you are. Every end is a beginning. Resilience seems to be in short supply, which is why Neil wrote this book. He offers nine research-backed secrets, shared through personal stories on how we can move from shattering to strengthening. If you find yourself off course, this book is for you.

Secret #1 – Add a Dot Dot Dot

• The dot dot dot here is known as an ellipsis which marks incomplete utterances in plays. Compare this to a period known as a full stop, which marks a finished sentence. Neil uses the ellipsis as a metaphor for life were everything is unfinished until you die. He uses the inspirational story of his mother, born the fifth girl in Kenya to a family who wanted a fourth boy. She was self-taught and got the highest score in the nation’s standardized test, which earned her a full scholarship to a white prep school. She just kept going like an ellipsis and looked past the periods.
• The other key lesson here is that like Neil’s mom, the one word you should use over and over at the end of your sentence is yet. As is “I don’t have any better options…yet.”

Secret #2 – Shift the Spotlight

• It’s egotistical to think that “it’s all about you.” It’s foolish to think that people are constantly looking and you and judging you. It’s folly to think the spotlight is on you because it isn’t. Stop caring with other people who are self-absorbed think of you. There is so much beyond your control that you need to simply learn from your failures and move on. Share your failures with others as it will help you seem more human. You will seem more normal, real, and relatable, which will help improve your relationships. If you make self-harming statements you are likely to believe them. Also, avoid exaggerating the size of your problems.

Secret #3 – See It as a Step

• If you think of life as a long stairway you need to realize that you can see the steps taken but the upcoming steps are invisible. Also, realize that we are all really bad a predicting the future. People think that they have changed a lot in the past, but won’t change much in the future. This is probably wrong. When people are down, they often think they will probably stay there. This is the wrong way to think. See failure as a step towards a future that you will be happy with. Neil also recommends that you avoid the endless reports of bad news that our modern media doles out. It’s largely a machine-gun barrage of superficial negativity. He also found that writing a blog was cathartic as it helped him swap dark thoughts for lighter ones. For him, it was the dot dot dot, a shift of the spotlight, and the next step. When you fail, just prepare for this next step, which might be positive.

Secret #4 – Tell Yourself a Different Story

• Shame is an intensely painful feeling or experience that we are flawed and unworthy of love or belonging. It plays a role in how we think of ourselves. Your problem is the story you are telling yourself and you can choose another story like you can choose your attitude. Three questions can help. 1. Will this matter on my death bed? 2. Can I do something about this? 3. Is this a story I am telling myself?

Secret #5 – Lose More to Win More

• Some good things just take time. They take lots of failure, lots of loss, and lots of experience. Wanting to get better is a real gift. It means you keep trying, failing, and learning. If your number of failures exceed those of most people you should be proud of that. Cy Young had the most wins and the most losses. Nolan Ryan had the most strikeouts and the most walks. The more times you step to the mound the more chances you have to win. Go to parties where you don’t know people. Have a failure budget. Can you afford to lose hundreds on something that fails? How about thousands or more? More losses give you more chances to win. If you want good pictures, take more pictures.

Secret #6 – Reveal to Heal

• Physical releases are easier than mental releases. Take time to let go of something and take time to feel grateful and write down at least five gratitudes a week.

Secret #7 – Find Small Ponds

• Would you rather be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? If you choose the former your self-esteem will go up and stay up. Neil got this advice from a dean so instead of applying to a top company he looked for ones that were broken in some way. He got a job where he was a big deal and could make a difference. This concept applies to life. Rather than chase the hot person on the beach, look for the nerd in the library. Just don’t be arrogant or act boastfully while you are in the small pond.

Secret #8 – Go Untouchable

• It seems that every day there are more distractions in our lives. Cellphones are a big culprit while things like meetings at work and a barrage of emails also contribute. When Neil quit Walmart to become a full-time writer he found that he didn’t have the amount of time he anticipated to do creative work. His solution was to create weekly UNTOUCHABLE days where he unplugged and just focused on creative activity. He found his productivity skyrocketed so he now schedules two such days a week sixteen weeks into the future. If he has to shift one of these days he keeps it in the same week.

Secret #9 – Never, Never Stop

• This chapter could have been called “what I learned from my dad.” He emigrated from India to Canada, worked hard, and never gave up. He kept things simple and when he made a decision he didn’t waste time rethinking it. The big idea is that you can only go forward so start going that way and never stop. Thanks, Neil.

Neil Pasricha

• Neil is a New York Times bestselling author of six books including The Book of Awesome and The Happiness Equation. His podcast 3 Books is his quest to uncover the most formative books in the world. He gives 50+ speeches a year including TED Talks and SXSW. He has degrees from Queen’s University and Harvard Business School and lives in Toronto. Reach him on Twitter as @nielpasricha, visit his blog at Neil.Blog, and drop him a line at neil@globalhappiness.org.

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